:04:01
You ever notice how whenever you
bring up kids, I change the subject?
:04:05
I don't want them ever!
:04:08
That was kinda harsh, you know,
because we were talkin'...
:04:11
everything-- kids, marriage,
the whole nine.
:04:13
Then she drops that on me
out of the blue, so--
:04:16
That was kinda tough, you know?
:04:18
I told you moving in with her
was a big mistake, didn't I?
:04:20
I know.
:04:22
Tommy, you are not
the settling down type of guy.
:04:24
You're the type that has to be out
there every day makin' it happen.
:04:27
Forget about
that wife-and-kids crap.
:04:29
What is that anyway? You take it
from somebody who's been there.
:04:32
A wife and children
will drive you to an early grave.
:04:36
Take a look at me, for example.
Take a look at me, baby!
:04:40
- I know. You're animal.
- I'm an animal!
:04:42
I am twice as vital
as any married man half my age.
:04:45
- Ain't that right, sweetheart?
- So you keep telling me.
:04:47
Tell the kid how many women
I've porked.
:04:51
Enough to definitely make
every woman sick to her stomach.
:04:55
- Five hundred, Tommy.
- Come on.
:04:57
I had sex with 500 different women.
I left them all baying at the moon.
:05:02
You stick with me, kid, you could
wind up with twice that many.
:05:05
- So what was the fight about?
- I don't know.
:05:08
I came home yesterday, everything
seems fine, she's having a sandwich.
:05:11
Next thing, she's screaming at me,
kicks me out of the apartment.
:05:14
- She kicked you out?
- It was her place.
:05:17
Tommy, she kicked you out?
That's unbelievable.
:05:21
In my day, I would have thrown
her big ass right out the door.
:05:26
So what do you need? A place
to stay for a couple of weeks?
:05:31
I can't ask you that. I'll get
a sublet until I find an apartment.
:05:35
Why don't you go live in a box
in an alley too?
:05:37
Listen, as long as I'm breathing,
you've got a place to stay.
:05:39
You stay with me a couple of weeks,
I'll get your head straightened out.
:05:42
We'll put that romantic idealism
crap to bed once and for all.
:05:46
But for now, Tommy, I want you
to do yourself a favor.
:05:49
I want you to go out
and try to get laid.
:05:51
Nothing heals a broken heart
like a brand-new piece of booty.
:05:55
Don't listen to him, please.
:05:59
- The eyes.
- Yeah, I see the eyes!