:01:06
Shit.
:01:12
Fell off the chair. (Chuckles)
:01:15
I wasn't, uh...
:01:16
I know you're wearing a skirt,
but I didn't see anything.
:01:20
Mostly trousers these days.
:01:23
Yeah, I prefer skirts. Healthier, isn't it?
:01:27
I imagine. (Chuckles)
:01:28
Allows the air to, uh,
circulate around the...
:01:34
(Sighs)... vagina!
:01:36
We're ready for you, Mr Garden.
:01:39
Yes, yes.
:01:43
We've had a letter of complaint
:01:45
stating that you are a
"negative and destructive influence
:01:48
"on the smooth running
of the Blackpool Probation Office."
:01:52
I think whoever wrote that letter,
it's just a clash of personalities.
:01:56
It's signed by everyone in your office.
:01:58
Right, yeah, well,
I mean, that's what I mean.
:02:02
It's a clash between... me and them.
:02:05
"A negative and destructive influence,"
Mr Garden.
:02:09
Are they right?
:02:11
Well, if you think that
remembering a client's first name
:02:15
is less important than
claiming generous expenses,
:02:18
then, yes, they're right.
:02:20
If it's best for a client who's
just left prison for the 14th time
:02:24
to be passed on to
yet another department,
:02:27
then, yes, they're right.
:02:30
But I've seen over 1,000 clients
and I believe every single one...
:02:35
Of these 1,000,
how many are now going straight?
:02:39
Three.
:02:41
Simon Garden was an inspiration.
:02:43
My first day out,
he gave me a blank sheet of paper
:02:46
and he said, "That's your future.
:02:49
"You can write and apply for a job
or you can wipe your arse on it."
:02:53
And I said, "I'm not afraid
to get my hands dirty."
:02:56
Before I met Simon,
I was thievin' and hitting people.