The Parole Officer
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:26:02
(Groaning)
:26:07
(Man) Hang on! But you used to say,
:26:11
"You're halfway up a mountain.
Crime's the easy path down.

:26:14
- "Responsibility..."
- "Get there, it's a great view."

:26:17
Yeah.
Well, don't that make you a hypocrite?

:26:20
In these circumstances, no.
:26:24
Oh, look, Simon,
it's not that I don't want to help you.

:26:27
It's just, erm...
:26:30
It's me mum. She's got crippling arthritis.
She can hardly move.

:26:34
You know, I've got the shop,
I've got her and, you know,

:26:39
a couple of chairs have been
kicked over in the attic.

:26:42
She don't know why
there's fish everywhere.

:26:45
Otherwise I'd be in that car with you now.
:26:47
Hey, Rambo!
Them hake in there want guttin'.

:26:50
I could've fried 'em, ate 'em,
and shat 'em out by now.

:26:54
Give it your mum.
:26:58
You big girl.
:27:08
I was such an idiot.
But now I'm not an idiot.

:27:11
I'm a computer salesman, thanks to you.
:27:13
The beauty is they sell themselves.
:27:16
All I do is provide a service
support network for a small fee,

:27:20
which keeps the customers happy,
and me.

:27:22
I'm very happy. I'm very happy.
:27:29
(Computer salesman)
Oh, that was a shite job. I hated it. Ah!

:27:34
We're all in. Manchester, here we come.
:27:38
Not quite. There's one more.
:27:42
Victor?
:27:46
- Who's Victor?
- There was a story

:27:48
that Victor once stole the Crown jewels
:27:51
and then put them back
without anyone noticing.

:27:54
- How do you know if no one saw it?
- I read it in News of the World.

:27:58
Yep, that's where I read it.
:27:59
He's a master of disguise.

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