:54:01
Get yourself a steak or something.
:54:04
All right, gents.
:54:07
I don't know why I'm meeting you.
I don't talk to dead men.
:54:12
I ain't dead yet.
:54:13
Fucking prick. Excuse me.
:54:18
Why the long face, Doug?
:54:20
-Feds seize your house or something?
-Fuck yourself.
:54:24
Tell him the story.
:54:27
Come on, tell the story.
:54:28
-If it's so funny, you tell him.
-It's your story.
:54:33
Asshole.
:54:38
All right.
There's a serial burglar.
:54:42
Chased him for a year.
A real slickster.
:54:45
Captain's riding my ass
the whole time.
:54:48
-Sentencing was today.
-Judge is female.
:54:51
That's right. Landers.
:54:52
I know Landers. She's a sharp lady.
:54:58
No?
:54:59
Guy gets ahold of some peanut butter,
packs his ass-crack with it.
:55:05
He's standing before the bench,
waiting to give his statement.
:55:09
Shoves his hand down his pants,
comes out with extra-chunky Jif.
:55:16
Bailiffs won't come near him.
:55:22
Now he looks the judge
right in the eyes...
:55:26
...and licks his fingers clean.
:55:30
Holy shit.
:55:32
So the judge says:
:55:34
"This man's insane.
He can't go to prison."
:55:37
-Sends him to Psychiatric.
-She fell for it.
:55:40
Yeah! She's so fucking smart.
:55:42
By the time she found out,
the guy's already been transferred.
:55:52
-Proceedings closed.
-Yeah, closed.
:55:55
He'll do six months
in the puzzle factory...
:55:58
...and they'll let him go.