Who Is Cletis Tout?

in terms of words, anyway.
Oh, no, it's singular.
Why? because I'm
running them all together

because this is my word,
my clause

the-the "what's all this crap?
You're a freak" clause

known henceforth
as "the clause."

Now, every time
you break the clause

I take back ten percent.
Let's see how many times
you've broken the clause.

How about
ever since I met you?

Do you know what that means?
You not only owe me 100%
of that map,
but for the next 50 years

you have to kiss
my red, rosy, puckered crack.

Ooh. That was nice.
Real descriptive.
"Kiss my rosy, red,
puckered crack."

I should shoot you right now.
Wow. I'm just telling you
what happened.

I, uh... I didn't realize I was
going to be critiqued here.

What's my name?
Excuse me?
Critical Jim.
Say it.
Critical Jim.
What do you suppose that means?
Where are we going now?
Uh, after the diamonds.
Under the old man's tree?
That's right.