:00:18
Do I have an original thought
in my head? My bald head?
:00:19
Do I have an original thought
in my head? My bald head?
:00:21
Maybe if I were happier,
my hair wouldn't be falling out.
:00:24
Life is short. I need
to make the most of it.
:00:28
Today is the first day
of the rest of my life.
:00:32
I'm a walking cliché.
:00:34
I really need to go to the doctor
and have my leg checked.
:00:36
There's something wrong.
A bump.
:00:38
The dentist called again.
I'm way overdue.
:00:40
If I stopped putting things off,
I'd be happier.
:00:44
All I do is sit on my fat ass.
If my ass wasn't fat, I'd be happier.
:00:47
I wouldn't have to wear these shirts
with the tails out all the time.
:00:51
Like that's fooling anyone.
:00:52
Fat ass. I should start jogging again.
Five miles a day.
:00:56
Really do it this time.
Maybe rock climbing.
:00:59
I need to turn my life around.
:01:01
What do I need to do?
I need to fall in love.
:01:04
I need to have a girlfriend.
:01:05
I need to read more,
improve myself.
:01:08
What if I learned Russian
or something?
:01:09
Or took up an instrument?
I could speak Chinese.
:01:12
I would be the screenwriter who
speaks Chinese. And plays the oboe.
:01:16
That would be cool.
I should get my hair cut short.
:01:19
Stop trying to fool everyone
into thinking I have a full head of hair.
:01:22
How pathetic is that?
Just be real. Confident.
:01:25
Isn't that what women
are attracted to?
:01:27
Men don't have to be attractive.
:01:29
But that's not true,
especially these days.
:01:31
Almost as much pressure on men
as there is on women these days.
:01:34
Why should I be made to feel I have
to apologize for my existence?
:01:37
Maybe it's my brain chemistry.
:01:39
Maybe that's what's wrong with me:
Bad chemistry.
:01:42
All my problems and anxiety can be
reduced to a chemical imbalance...
:01:45
...or some kind of
misfiring synapses.
:01:47
I need to get help for that.
:01:49
But I'll still be ugly, though.
:01:51
Nothing's gonna change that.
:01:52
Shut up!
:01:53
Shut up!
:01:56
Let's really try today
to solve our camera problems.