:54:00
-You're my muse. You are.
-l love being your muse.
:54:05
l'm so happy about that.
:54:09
l'm picking up an order for Kaufman.
:54:29
-Valerie.
-Hi, Charlie.
:54:31
lt's quite a coincidence
bumping into you.
:54:33
l'm sorry l didn't call you back.
l was away last week.
:54:35
-That's okay.
-l meant to because...
:54:37
...things are going really well now,
and l wanted you to know.
:54:40
Well, that's great.
l'm anxious to see something.
:54:42
You should sit down because
l'm here with Susan right now.
:54:45
And she's dying to meet you,
so it's funny bumping into you.
:54:48
-Have a seat.
-Susan Orlean is here?
:54:49
Yeah, she's here in town for a reading
or something. She's just on the phone.
:54:55
Sit down. Have a seat.
She's dying to meet you.
:54:59
Well, l should probably go, because....
:55:03
Well, l'd love to meet her too...
:55:05
...but l don't want to be beholden.
And, well--
:55:08
Because once you meet somebody
that you've been writing about...
:55:10
...it becomes very hard to separate.
So....
:55:13
Well, okay, l'll speak to you soon.
And l'm almost done.
:55:16
l'm almost done.
:55:17
And tell Susan that l would
love to meet with her at a future date.
:55:20
-As she sees fit.
-Okay.
:55:24
Who am I kidding?
This is not Susan Orlean's story.
:55:27
I have no connection with her.
I can't even meet her.
:55:29
I have no understanding of anything
but my own panic and self-loathing...
:55:32
...and pathetic, little existence.
:55:34
The only thing I'm actually qualified to
write about is myself and my own self--
:55:38
We open on Charlie Kaufman.
:55:40
Fat, old, bald, repulsive, sitting in
a Hollywood restaurant...
:55:44
...across from Valerie Thomas,
a lovely, statuesque film executive.
:55:49
Kaufman, trying to get
a writing assignment...
:55:52
...wanting to impress her,
sweats profusely.
:55:58
Fat, bald Kaufman paces furiously
in his bedroom.