Bubba Ho-tep
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:45:01
Man, if souls were fires,
they couldn't burn much lower than in here.

:45:05
Exactamundo.
:45:06
What we have here at Shady Rest
is an Egyptian soul sucker of some sort.

:45:12
You know, a mummy hiding out.
:45:14
Coming in here,
feeding on the sleeping.

:45:17
It's perfect, you see?
:45:20
We're small souls,
so we can't provide him much.

:45:24
But if that thing comes back
two or three times in a row

:45:28
and wraps his lips
around some elder's asshole,

:45:33
that elder is going to die pretty soon.
:45:36
And who would be the wiser?
:45:58
Asshole.
:46:01
A mummy can't be getting
too much energy from all this...

:46:04
not like with big souls...
but the prey is easy.

:46:09
With new people comin' all the time, he can
keep this up forever... this soul robbin'.

:46:13
That's what they
brought us here for...

:46:15
to get us out of the way
until we die.

:46:17
And those who don't die first from
disease or just plain being old, he gets.

:46:23
Look, that's all well and good, Jack,
but there's one thing that still throws me.

:46:28
How does an ancient Egyptian
wind up in an East Texas rest home,

:46:32
and why is he writin'
on the shit house walls, man?

:46:35
Well, he went in to take a crap,
:46:38
got bored,
started writing on the walls.

:46:41
He probably wrote
on pyramid walls centuries ago.

:46:44
Come on. What would he crap?
It's not like he'd eat.

:46:47
Well, he eats souls.
:46:49
So, I assume
that he would crap soul residue.

:46:53
By that, I would mean
that if you die from his mouth,

:46:57
you don't go to the other side
where the souls go.

:46:59
He digests souls
until they don't exist anymore.


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