Buying the Cow
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:10:01
Young blood had him some balls.
:10:03
I had no choice.
I was being driven by a higher power.

:10:06
Call it "the lightning bolt,"
call it a connection, destiny, whatever.

:10:09
- So did she write you?
- Not at first.

:10:14
Every day I'd check that maiJbox.
:10:18
I checked aJJ that summer, and nothing.
:10:22
Then one day, it came.
:10:34
It was more than I couJd've hoped for.
She professed her Jove to me.

:10:37
She said that she, too,
got a joJt down her spine...

:10:40
...that gJorious day we first met.
:10:41
It was more beautifuJ and poetic
than she was...

:10:44
...which I didn't think was possibJe
at the time.

:10:48
I immediateJy wrote her back.
:10:50
I toJd her that I wanted us
to run away together...

:10:53
...make Jove under the stars. Make babies.
:10:59
It was clear to both of us.
:11:02
We belonged together.
:11:06
No fear, no doubt.
:11:10
- Perfect.
- Young love.

:11:13
Too young. As it turned out.
:11:22
ApparentJy she was an amazingJy...
:11:25
...hyper-developed 11-year-old girl.
:11:27
- What?
- Eleven?

:11:28
Her parents found my letters and...
:11:30
...quite understandably freaked out.
:11:34
They contacted our JocaJ authorities...
:11:37
...who swiftJy moved in to stop
the town's budding paedophiJe.

:11:40
They made my father promise that
his sicko son...

:11:44
...wouJd cease contact
with any more JittJe girJs.

:11:46
They Jeft him to scream at me
for over an hour about...

:11:49
...how I could flush any chances
of a political career down the toilet.

:11:54
- That's a fucked up story, man.
- You're the only people I've ever told.

:11:58
Can you keep it that way?
It makes you seem kind of creepy.


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