Buying the Cow

I often wonder how long we would've
lasted if I hadn't broken up with you.

Two and a half days. I was gonna
dump you right after my last final.

I didn't have the time to get into
a big emotional thing with you.

- I had to study.
- What a relief.

This whole time,
I thought I broke your heart.

Give me a break. We weren't in love
or anything. We were just having fun.

- There were no expectations back then.
- Give me a hand with this.

I mean, when did that change?
It didn't. You did.
It only seems different now
because you outgrew it.

- I don't know.
- I do.

Look at your dick-with-ears friend there.
Do you think that Amy chick
would take the bid?

- I thought that was Dave's old flame.
- Key word: "was."

Damn it! I bet I could have had her.
When she was going out
with your best friend.

Yeah, that would have been real cool.
You bet.
Although, I'm sure she wasn't as hot then.
- You look unbelievable.
- Thanks.

When did it get so difficult
to figure out what I want?

If you're like most people, darlin'...
...right around the time you found
something worth wanting.

Hand me that dildo, will you?