Sex Is Comedy

You'll see. the mood's different.
In a studio, you're in control.
Not like outside.
where the weather's king.

A studio's like a church.
A place of speech.

The movie's speech.
Not your smutty jokes!

You find jokes vulgar: they relax me.
I feel loved by the grips
and electricians.

I really need to be loved by them.
The love scenes are coming up.
"Male jokes" soon get out of hand.
I need to love you, to film you!
You wiggle your ass for the crew:
I want to puke!

- I mean no harm. I'm very shy.
- Not at all!

You waste your charm.
There's none left for the camera!

I said you looked
ugly on the beach...

- Screw beauty!
- That's not what I meant!

I mean moral ugliness!
An actor who isn't in the shot!
His flesh is there.
but not his soul.

You can have the best light,
the best cameraman.

if the actor doesn't give you
his inner light,

you film dead flesh.
The corpse of a film!

I won't use the angle on you,
or very little.

OK, that's what editing is for,
so it doesn't really matter.
You think the Actress is hopeless,
but what she gave me is magnificent!
She turns her green eyes
on you:

it's like she's burning
with desire for you.

That shot will make the scene!
It'll do wonders for her character.
Your Actress is hopeless!
She's not an actress!

I'm interested in myself: I'm unique.
You're unique?
How can you say that?