Sorority Boys

Don't tell Leah,
but sometimes I think
that life
would be a lot easier

if I just looked like
one of those Tri Pis.

I mean, do you know
what it feels like

to be a constant butt
of jokes?

I do.
Do you know what
it feels like to
be called a freak,

to be humiliated
day in, day out

until your self-esteem
is so low,

you'd -- you'd walk
a mile out of your way

just to avoid looking
in a mirror?

Or to be...

into crushing
hundreds of cans
of beer on your head

for nine years...
the constant migraines

and the expensive
C A T scans?

We love you.
My giant.
My gentle giant.

I feel like...
you girls
are my best friends

in the whole world.
A-And I think
it's time...

we stopped
moping around...

and started having fun.
What kind of fun?
So -- so why do
they call it a
gravity bong?

I have no idea.
Oh, that tickles.
Stop that now.
Stop it.

Did you leave a
boyfriend or anything
back in Minnesota?

Oh, no, no.
My father didn't
want me to date boys.

Oh. Sounds
really controlling.

He is.
He expects me to
graduate, buy a house
in the suburbs,