:58:01
...do you all of a sudden
have a "girlfriend"?
:58:04
Because I do. I do. I have a girlfriend.
:58:06
said the liar to the beached whale!
:58:08
You're not a beached whale.
:58:10
If anything, you could even
gain a few pounds.
:58:13
so now I'm too skinny for you?
:58:16
No. I didn't mean that.
:58:17
-ls this what you want, Dave?
-No.
:58:20
If I put on a few pounds...
:58:22
...will you be able to stifle your vomit
long enough to have sex with me?!
:58:26
Holy shit.
:58:27
Are you such a hot stud
that you'll break me in two?!
:58:31
You're angry right now. Wanna sing?
Do you know "l Feel Pretty"?
:58:35
-Get out! Get out!
-stop!
:58:37
Get out!
:58:39
Get out!!
:58:41
Porker!
:58:42
Fatty!
:58:44
No!!
:58:59
How did it go, pal?
:59:00
-Why'd you ditch me?
-What are you talking about?
:59:03
You gave me the signal.
:59:05
I didn't give you the signal to leave.
:59:07
I gave you the signal to say your
gross pickup line actually worked.
:59:11
Well, of course it did.
:59:13
so did Little Davey need
some anger management?
:59:16
-That chick was killer.
-serial killer.
:59:19
she tried to chocolate me to death.
:59:21
Anyways, I don't cheat on Linda.
:59:24
-speaking of Linda, she called earlier.
-Oh, yeah?
:59:28
she seemed a little bit
bent out of shape.
:59:31
-About what?
-Your being out with another woman.
:59:35
-How would she know that?
-I told her.
:59:38
-What else could I do?
-What else could you do?
:59:40
You could've told her something else.
I was at the bank. I was at the store.
:59:45
I ate bad guacamole
and I couldn't stop shitting!
:59:48
Any of those would have been fine!
:59:50
Well, I'm sorry, Dave, but I don't lie
for my patients.
:59:53
You want to leave your friend and
run off and chase some hot babe...
:59:56
...you can't expect me to cover for you.
:59:58
I did what you told me to do,
you sick, demented man.