1:03:09
Kids are great for a comedian
because kids are funny...
1:03:13
...without even trying to be funny.
1:03:15
My wife and my mother-in-law had ordered
bathing suits through the mail. Mail order.
1:03:20
So the bathing suits arrived.
They're trying them on.
1:03:24
My mother-in-law walks out
in her bathing suit.
1:03:27
My daughter looked at her and said:
1:03:29
"Gamma, you shouldn't draw on your legs
with a blue Magic Marker."
1:03:41
Needless to say, I had to mop up
the milk I had been drinking...
1:03:46
...because it was on the other side
of the room...
1:03:49
...which is pretty good distance
through your nose. That's right.
1:03:55
That's gonna sting a little while.
1:04:00
I was doing a thing not long ago
for HBO...
1:04:02
...and they were asking
serious questions.
1:04:05
One of them was,
"What's your earliest recollection in life? "
1:04:08
I said, "l remember being 3, standing on
the front seat of the car with my dad.
1:04:13
Every time he would turn the corner,
I would make the sound of tires squealing.
1:04:20
My dad would go,
'Quit squealing my tires.'"
1:04:22
All of a sudden, it dawned on me. What was
I doing standing on the front seat of the car?
1:04:29
Back then, kids weren't too good to go
through the windshield with the rest of us.
1:04:34
When my kids were 3,
I couldn't back out of the driveway...
1:04:37
...unless they were in a car seat
with a shoulder strap and a safety fit.
1:04:41
Think back. I can vividly recall
riding all the way to Florida...
1:04:45
...Iaying in the back window of the car.
1:04:52
People behind us going, "Harold,
is that one of those bobbing dogs? "
1:04:56
"No. That's a skinny kid with a big head.
Boy, what a big head."