:47:02
he was experimenting,
as all children do,
:47:04
and he had sex with his brother
in bed or something like that.
:47:10
And to me,
:47:12
that's not what all children do.
:47:15
Arnold sent me this right around
when he started writing me,
:47:18
and it's called "My Story,"
and it was written in 1988.
:47:21
And I think it was his attempt
to talk about the case
:47:24
but also talk about the case
in the context of his life.
:47:27
And it starts out, it says,
:47:28
"This story goes back 50 years
to when I was a child. "
:47:31
He says, "When I
reached adolescence
:47:33
I sought out partners for
my emerging sexuality.
:47:37
My first partner, when I was
13, was my 8-year-old brother.
:47:40
I had overt sexual
relations with him
:47:42
over a period of a few years. "
:47:46
I know that my brother has said
that he messed around with me
:47:49
when I was a kid.
:47:50
And I don't remember any of it.
:47:52
I don't remember anything.
:47:54
I have nothing up here
:47:57
that has me yelling or
screaming or crying
:48:00
or trying to get away
or unhappy or I
:48:03
there's nothing there that.
:48:07
Maybe someday a door
will open,
:48:09
but it better hurry up,
because I'm 65.
:48:12
And at this point in time,
I could care less.
:48:15
Then he goes on and says,
"My next partners were boys
:48:18
my own age, all of which
sexual relations,
:48:21
probably being within
norms for my age.
:48:24
However, the emotional
impact of these relations
:48:26
was very pronounced and
lasted through my adult life.
:48:29
A more normal situation,
as probably happened
:48:32
with my partners, would
have been to outgrow
:48:34
and forget these episodes.
:48:37
However, I literally fell
in love with these boys,
:48:39
and the relations were far
more significant to me
:48:41
than they were to my partners. "
:48:43
And then he told me that when he
got to be an older teenager,
:48:47
like maybe in his late teens,
he started worrying
:48:50
that he was still attracted to
kids that were the same age
:48:52
as his brother had been
when Arnold was 13,
:48:55
and that really started
bothering him.
:48:57
And then after he had his own
children, he was worried.