Deliver Us from Eva
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:06:00
Women who aspire to culture...
:06:02
and men who aspire
to scratch themselves.

:06:05
Women who bear the burdens in life
and men who create those burdens.

:06:08
Women who uplift humanity
and men who uplift lap dances.

:06:12
If society were left
to the whims of men,

:06:14
we'd still be in caves carving
pictures with our non-opposable thumbs.

:06:17
So, today, gentlemen,
:06:20
is the day
for civilized behavior.

:06:23
Today we women raise our voices against
tyranny, crudeness and play-off games.

:06:27
And that is it, gentlemen.
:06:30
End of story. The fat lady's
singing! Out of the room.

:06:34
By the way, if any of that was lost upon
you, then I've just proven my point again.

:06:38
Excuse me.
:06:41
Kareenah, baby,
:06:43
I am putting
my foot down.

:06:49
Damn! Damn!
I can't stand her.

:06:53
I can't stand her either, but
you really need to calm down.

:06:56
You're making me stressed. You need
to stand up to your wife, Timothy.

:06:59
It's like she tookyour balls
and turned them into earrings.

:07:02
Your wife is bling-blingin'
with your nuts.

:07:04
This is what we get for being
with Eva's little sisters.

:07:07
They could never stand up
to us without Eva.

:07:08
I really did think I was getting
one of the fabulous Dandridge girls.

:07:12
I didn't know it came with
the sister-in-law from hell.

:07:14
You gotta admit, they were the
finest women in the neighborhood.

:07:17
We used to say their daddy's johnson
- Should be bronzed. Right.

:07:20
Did you notice how they
stuck together in an argument?

:07:22
One for all and all for Eva.
That's how they're getting down.

:07:25
Come on, fellas. We need
to be more compassionate.

:07:27
Their parents died when they
were young and left them alone,

:07:30
so they have to stick together. Yeah.
:07:32
I should've used that argument to
get on Eva about that Dandridge fund.

:07:34
- You know what? I would've done it.
- Look at you cosigning.

:07:37
Mike, please, you need to
let that go. Every time. Okay.

:07:41
They've been putting money in that
account ever since they were teenagers.

:07:43
- What are they doing with it? Nothing.
- Step away from my man.

:07:45
I bet they don't even know
how much is in there.

:07:47
- There's no need for this.
- If he's your man, then what's he doing here with me?

:07:52
Charity work, heifer.
Look- Look- Hey, hey, hey!

:07:55
This is just
a big misunderstanding, okay?

:07:57
Fellas, I know that brother.
Yo, Ray!


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