:11:01
All right, it was
5:00 in the morning.
:11:04
Hey, Tom Arnold, what's up?
:11:06
Hey, hey, it's Tom "A"
in here, okay?
:11:08
And keep quiet;
it's just getting good.
:11:10
She's a cross-addicted
sex addict.
:11:11
Ooh.
:11:12
And I realized
that I had hit bottom.
:11:15
I hit bottom.
:11:16
I see you on TV all the time.
:11:17
You're doing great.
Listen, what's up?
:11:19
Hey, Orville and Wilbur called.
:11:21
They want to buy your collars.
:11:22
They're going to take off
from Kitty Hawk at sundown.
:11:24
What does that mean?
:11:26
They invented the airplane,
:11:28
and your lapels
are unusually huge.
:11:31
That's funny.
:11:32
Yeah.
:11:33
Or is it?
:11:34
I can bench-press 350 pounds.
:11:35
That's great.
That's a lot.
:11:36
Hey, man, I see you everywhere.
:11:38
You're kicking ass.
:11:39
True Lies was great.
:11:40
I rent it all the time.
:11:41
Can you get me in
with Rob Reiner?
:11:42
Excuse me. Sir?
:11:44
Can we help you?
:11:45
Are you here
because you're an alcoholic?
:11:48
Whoa. No. No. Baby.
:11:49
Don't get that
floating around town.
:11:51
Last thing I need
is people to think
:11:53
I'm some drunk, alkie loser.
:11:57
Not that it's bad.
I mean, it's cool.
:11:59
You need to be
an alcoholic to be here.
:12:01
All right.
:12:04
Aw, there's got to be another AA
meeting around here somewhere.
:12:10
Bingo. I'll take Brendan Fraser
to block.
:12:16
Whew! Sorry I'm late, gang,
but I am wasted.
:12:20
Drinking shots like a madman.
:12:22
I'm chocked,
cocked and crapulous.
:12:24
You know what I mean?
:12:25
One tequila, two tequila,
three tequila, floor.
:12:28
Right? Who's with me?
:12:29
This guy knows what I'm saying.
:12:31
Can we help you?
:12:32
Oh, God, I hope you can.
:12:34
My name's Dickie Roberts,
:12:36
and I'm a whiskey-puking alkie.
:12:39
Well, that's all
very interesting,
:12:41
but this is a Lamaze class.
:12:42
Oh. Okay. Nice to see you.
:12:46
I'm telling this story
to everybody I see.
:12:49
That's got to be the dumbest
thing I've ever witnessed.
:12:52
Maybe it was.
:12:53
But listen, what are you doing
in Lamaze class anyway?
:12:56
Is your wife pregnant?
:12:58
Yeah.
My wife is pregnant.
:12:59
Here she is now.
Have you met?