Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star
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1:34:01
Well, pal, for ten years,
he's been dead

1:34:05
They ask, "Hey, Lucy,
where's J.R.?"

1:34:07
Come on, y'all, be realistic.
1:34:09
One more "Hey, Joanie,
where's Chachi,"

1:34:11
and I'll go ballistic.
1:34:12
Our costars
are not on our speed dial

1:34:15
So please don't ask
1:34:17
Or we'll take that phone
and shove it

1:34:20
Right up your dumb fat ass
1:34:24
No, we don't ride
in fancy limos

1:34:27
Private jets,
they're not for us

1:34:30
So you may see us driving Neons
1:34:33
Or riding the Greyhound bus
1:34:36
Yeah, we live
just like all of you

1:34:39
So don't call us losers
1:34:42
Or we'll punch you
with so many rights

1:34:44
You'll be begging for lefts
1:34:46
And beggars
can't be choosers

1:35:02
I was on Teen Beat
with Michael Jackson

1:35:07
Now he's bigger, I suppose
1:35:11
Yeah, yeah
1:35:13
Though he may be
a multi-zillionaire

1:35:17
At least I still have my nose
1:35:21
At least we're not crazy
1:35:23
We don't sleep with chimpanzees
1:35:26
We don't bleach our skin
1:35:28
Or dangle babies from balconies
1:35:31
We loved being child stars
on your television

1:35:37
But misbehave and
we'll bust your head

1:35:39
Gee, Wally,
was it something they said?

1:35:41
Child stars
on your television

1:35:45
Most of us have nothing
to lose

1:35:47
So we'll put your butt
on the 5:00 news

1:35:50
Child stars
on your television

1:35:54
We don't know karate,
but we do know crazy

1:35:56
We'll beat you so bad,
your future will be hazy

1:35:59
Child stars
on your television


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