Down with Love
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1:15:06
I'm not gonna storm
out of here, Catch.

1:15:09
And I'm not gonna admit that you got
Barbara Novak to fall in love...

1:15:13
because I'm not Barbara Novak.
1:15:16
- There is no Barbara Novak.
- Huh?

1:15:19
I didn't fall in love with Zip Martin.
I fell in love with Catcher Block.

1:15:24
And that was a year ago,
when for three and a half weeks,
I worked as your secretary.

1:15:28
I don't expect you to
remember me. I wasn't a blond
then. But you did ask me out.

1:15:33
And it broke my heart to say no,
but I loved you too much.

1:15:37
I couldn't bear to become
just another notch in your bedpost.

1:15:40
With your dating habits, I knew
that even if I was lucky enough...

1:15:43
to get a regular spot
on your rotating schedule...

1:15:46
I would never have your
undivided attention long enough
for you to fall in love with me.

1:15:51
I knew I had to do something
to set myself apart.

1:15:54
I knew I had to quit my job
as your secretary...

1:15:57
and write an international best-seller
controversial enough...

1:16:02
to get the attention of a New York
publisher as well as KNOw magazine...

1:16:06
but insignificant enough
that as long as I went unseen,
KNOw magazine's star journalist...

1:16:11
would refuse
to do a cover story about it.

1:16:13
I knew that every time we were supposed
to meet, you would get distracted...

1:16:16
by one of your many girlfriends
and stand me up...

1:16:19
and this would give me a reason
to fight with you over the phone...

1:16:22
and declare that I wouldn't meet
with you for a hundred years.

1:16:25
And then all I would have to do
was be patient and wait...

1:16:29
the two or three weeks it would take
for everyone in the world...

1:16:32
to buy a copy of my best-seller--
1:16:34
and then I would begin to get
the publicity I would need for you...

1:16:38
to, one, see what I look like, and, two, see
me denounce you in public...

1:16:42
as the worst kind of man.
1:16:44
I knew this would make you wanna
get even by writing one of your exposés.

1:16:48
And in order to do that,
you would have to go undercover...

1:16:51
assume a false identity
and pretend to be the kind of man...

1:16:54
who would make the kind of girl
I was pretending to be fall in love.

1:16:57
Since I was pretending to be a girl
who would have sex on the first date...


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