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Get ready for...
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the 2005 Presidential Inaugural Ball.
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Ladies and gentlemen, the President
of the United States of America...
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Mays Gilliam, and his future First Wifey...
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Lisa Clark!
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Look at him now, man
Ain't this great
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Biggest man in town
He's the head of state
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They come from all around
just for one handshake
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Look at him now
He's the head of state
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That's me, Mays Gilliam...
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President of the United States of America.
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North America.
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- Who did you vote for?
- For what?
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- For President.
- Of what?
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- Of the United States.
- Of what?
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- Of America.
- What America?
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North America.
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Slick, I don't vote.
You gonna buy some of this meat, or what?
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You can't trust nobody.
Everybody's trying to rob you. Nobody!
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That guy right there! Don't trust him!
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Can't trust no-damn-body!
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America is taking advantage of you!
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You can go to war when you're 18,
but you can't have a drink till you're 21!
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- That ain't right!
- Right! So, let me get this straight.
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You're 18 years old. You go to war.
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You come back. Your leg is chopped off!
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You got a damn nub!
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Everywhere you go they say,
"What's up, nubby?"
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You get to the bar and say,
"Bartender, can I have a drink?"
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He looks you up and down and says,
"I got to see some ID."
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ID? You mean to tell me
a one-legged teenager can't have a drink?
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- That ain't right!
- Where is the nub?