What can I do you for?
(JOHN): Get on first-name terms
with the bar staff..

Give them some chat. Have them
Pour our drinks before we've ordered.

Soon it's John and Trev,
the painter-decorators.

"Pint of the usual, love,
and a steak and kidney.

"-A few more chips than yesterday.
- Cheeky so-and-so.

"Another round, lads?"
Once they know us,
we'll pop in early on a Friday night.

Just for a quick one.
The usual, lads?
Are you two Dogs, then?
Edwards, you geriatric retard.
Where's your fucking walking stick?

- You want to paint it white, you nonce!
- Help him out, for fuck's sake!

- Help him out the fucking front gate!
- Make sure you lock it after!

Pick a decent side, Nolan. You
couldn't pick your own fucking nose.

- Not even if it was in front of your face.
- Better than up the Chairman's arse!

- That's not where he keeps his money.
- Not where everyone could got at it!