Love Actually
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:19:01
(# On radio: Christmas Is All Around)
:19:04
(Mobile)
:19:08
Babe. Absolutely, fire away.
:19:12
Mia, Mia, would you turn that down?
:19:16
What is that?
:19:18
That was the Christmas effort
from the once great Billy Mack.

:19:21
Oh, dear me, how are the mighty fallen.
:19:24
I can safely say that is the worst record
I've heard this century...

:19:30
Oh, and coincidentally,
I believe Billy will be a guest

:19:34
on my friend Mike's show
in a few minutes' time.

:19:37
Welcome back, Bill.
:19:39
Billy, welcome back to the airwaves.
:19:42
New Christmas single,
cover of Love Is All Around.

:19:45
Except we've changed
the word "love" to "Christmas".

:19:50
Yes, is that an important message
to you, Bill?

:19:53
(Snorts) Not really, Mike.
:19:55
Christmas is a time for people
with someone they love in their lives.

:20:00
- And that's not you?
- That's not me, Michael.

:20:02
When I was young and successful,
I was greedy and foolish

:20:06
and now I'm left with no one,
wrinkled and alone.

:20:10
- Wow. Thanks for that, Bill.
- For what?

:20:13
For actually giving
a real answer to a question.

:20:15
It doesn't often happen here
at Radio Watford, I can tell you.

:20:19
- Ask me anything, I'll tell you the truth.
- Best shag you ever had?

:20:23
- Britney Spears.
- Wow.

:20:25
No, only kidding! (Snorts)
:20:28
- She was rubbish.
- OK, here's one.

:20:30
How do you think the new record
compares to your old, classic stuff?

:20:34
Come on, Mikey, you know as well as I do
the record's crap.

:20:38
(Bill laughing)
:20:40
But wouldn't it be great
if number one this Christmas

:20:43
wasn't some smug teenager
:20:45
but an old ex-heroin addict
searching for a comeback at any price?

:20:49
Those young popsters come Christmas
will be stretched out naked

:20:53
with a cute bird balancing on their balls
:20:56
and I'll be stuck in some dingy flat
with me manager Joe,

:20:59
ugliest man in the world,

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