Mambo italiano
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:15:01
Because being gay and Italian
is a fate worse than...

:15:05
Actually, there is no fate
worse than being gay and Italian.

:15:08
To top things off, my mother keeps on
setting me up with nice Italian girls.

:15:18
And like an idiot, I go out with them.
:15:20
And then I feel like a louse
for not calling them back.

:15:25
All this lying. It's sapping my energy.
:15:27
Nino and I made a deal. No one can
know about the two of us except us.

:15:32
Only, my poor sister Anna knows.
She found out by accident.

:15:35
That is so like her.
:15:37
- You okay?
- I will be once the Valium kicks in.

:15:40
- It's not what you think.
- Who's thinking? I'm not.

:15:42
- I am so sorry.
- Why sorry? I'm thrilled.

:15:45
You two are a couple.
:15:46
I reacted the way I did because
I saw my brother naked. I gotta go.

:15:51
- Hey, you just got here.
- Did I?

:15:54
Time flies when you're mortified.
:15:57
- You make a beautiful couple.
- Did you hear that?

:16:01
- Mortified.
- She'll get over it.

:16:04
Yeah, but will I?
:16:06
Understand that Nino has an image
he has to uphold.

:16:09
- Macho cop?
- No, respected cop.

:16:11
All right, just relax, sir,
and everything's gonna be fine.

:16:14
- Everything will be all right.
- I think this bastard...

:16:17
...needs a lesson in etiquette.
:16:19
- Your mother's a whore.
- Hey. Cool it, Marco.

:16:22
- No one calls my mother a whore.
- Your father calls her that.

:16:25
- But he's family.
- Nino is by far the best thing...

:16:27
- But he's family.
- Nino is by far the best thing...

:16:28
...that ever happened to me.
Not only is he loving, he is supportive.

:16:33
He's the first one who didn't laugh
when I said I wanted to write for TV.

:16:41
When you said "mile-high club,"
I thought you meant a sandwich.

:16:44
- Sure you did.
- My husband's on the plane.

:16:47
Don't worry about your husband.
He's in the bathroom with my copilot.

:16:51
- Then who's flying the plane?
- Who cares?

:16:56
Wow.
:16:57
- Wow?
- Oh, yeah. This is fucking brilliant.


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