:56:01
- Then tell them.
- They'll kill me.
:56:03
Then you've got nothing to lose,
because either way you're dead, right?
:56:07
Hello?
:56:09
Hello?
:56:14
I guess humor is out of the question.
:56:17
- Just listen and try and feel their pain.
- Feel their pain.
:56:21
Yes. If someone calls and says,
"Things are really bad right now"...
:56:25
...you answer, full of compassion,
"Things are really bad right now, huh?"
:56:30
- Okay?
- Got it.
:56:32
Gay Helpline, how may I help you?
:56:34
I never should've taken
those illegal hormones.
:56:37
You never should have taken
those illegal hormones, huh?
:56:40
- I'm really depressed.
- You're really depressed, huh?
:56:43
I don't want the sex change. I'm stuck
with small breasts, a low voice...
:56:46
...and I can't get an erection.
:56:50
You're stuck with small breasts
and a low voice...
:56:53
...and you can't get an erection, huh?
:56:57
- I ruined my life.
- No kidding!
:57:01
I mean...
:57:04
...you ruined your life, huh?
- What's so funny?
:57:06
Nothing. Nothing.
:57:09
You're gonna be fine.
Don't worry about the breasts.
:57:12
Don't worry about the small...
:57:15
...erection.
:57:17
Things are fine, right?
:57:18
You just gotta play around
a little bit with it all. Okay?
:57:26
I can't do this.
:57:29
I sent three letters, no response.
:57:31
But I can tell she's
madly in love with me too.
:57:33
You've written her three love letters...
:57:36
...and she...
:57:40
Look, lady, I'm really sorry,
but I can't help you.
:57:43
Okay? I thought I could, but I can't.
:57:45
So I suggest you hang up
and call back when someone...
:57:48
...much more competent
than me can help you.
:57:51
Is this the Gay Help Center?
Do I have the wrong number?
:57:54
- This is Gay Helpline.
- Why aren't you gay helping me?
:57:57
- Because I told you, I'm no good.
- You're great! I feel better already!