:57:01
I mean...
:57:04
...you ruined your life, huh?
- What's so funny?
:57:06
Nothing. Nothing.
:57:09
You're gonna be fine.
Don't worry about the breasts.
:57:12
Don't worry about the small...
:57:15
...erection.
:57:17
Things are fine, right?
:57:18
You just gotta play around
a little bit with it all. Okay?
:57:26
I can't do this.
:57:29
I sent three letters, no response.
:57:31
But I can tell she's
madly in love with me too.
:57:33
You've written her three love letters...
:57:36
...and she...
:57:40
Look, lady, I'm really sorry,
but I can't help you.
:57:43
Okay? I thought I could, but I can't.
:57:45
So I suggest you hang up
and call back when someone...
:57:48
...much more competent
than me can help you.
:57:51
Is this the Gay Help Center?
Do I have the wrong number?
:57:54
- This is Gay Helpline.
- Why aren't you gay helping me?
:57:57
- Because I told you, I'm no good.
- You're great! I feel better already!
:58:00
- No, you don't.
- Yes, I do.
:58:02
- You've got a calming kind of voice.
- I don't have a calming anything.
:58:07
So I suggest you hang up
and call back later, okay?
:58:10
No, I'm gonna stay on for
a lot longer.
:58:13
- No! I want you to hang up.
- I'm not gonna.
:58:15
- Hang up.
- No!
:58:16
- Hang up!
- You first!
:58:18
Fine.
:58:20
Hello?
:58:21
Hello?
:58:23
Gay Helpline?
:58:25
- I guess I'm not helpline material.
- Active listening is not for everyone.
:58:29
Well, I've got years
of non-experience.
:58:31
Talking and not listening
is an Italian tradition.
:58:35
Let me ask you something.
:58:37
Do you think you're helping those
callers by going so easy on them?
:58:42
- What do you mean?
- Well, take me, for example.
:58:45
Now, I came out of the closet knowing
that my boyfriend didn't want to.
:58:49
Do I need to hear,
"Oh, your boyfriend left you?"
:58:53
No. I need someone to tell me, "Next
time, think twice before you fuck up."