:48:06
Please, sir.
All I need is five minutes.
:48:08
And I told you, Campbell,
no more paranoid on-air rants
:48:11
- about the supernatural.
- I know.
:48:14
This station is about sex,
violence, and the weather.
:48:16
Yes.
That reminds me.
:48:18
We're gonna need that "Porn Star
Shot Dead in a Hurricane" story.
:48:21
One hour.
:48:22
Meanwhile,
a tornado in Charleston
:48:25
threatens a clothing-optional
beach where just yesterday
:48:27
a naked couple
was brutally murdered.
:48:30
This just five miles
from where the last naked couple
:48:32
was brutally murdered.
:48:34
Turning now to sports.
:48:36
And an evil videotape
:48:38
that kills anyone
who watches it in seven days.
:48:41
It's true.
We're all in danger.
:48:43
- There's an alien force
- Oh, no.
:48:45
That's trying prevent you
from knowing the truth.
:48:47
Campbell, are you insane?
:48:48
It's a horrible fate.
:48:49
Carson, I have to do this.
:48:50
Correction,
there really is no danger.
:48:52
Actually, I didn't really mean
anything I just said.
:48:55
Yes, I did.
Every word of it.
:48:58
Everyone watching this
could be dead in a week.
:49:00
Oh, shizl gzngahr.
:49:10
469. I been cleaning after
this dumb-ass cracker Giggins
:49:14
for 10 years.
:49:15
But I been hitting it
with his woman for 12.
:49:18
Know what I'm saying, nigga?
:49:19
She likes her some chocolate.
:49:21
Sharpton for president, y'all.
I'm outie.
:49:24
Peace.
:49:25
An evil videotape
that kills people in 7 days.
:49:29
Alien forces
threatening the world.
:49:30
And who the hell
is this Cindy Campbell?
:49:32
If what she says is true, we're
facing an unprecedented crisis.
:49:35
Get me the president.
:49:36
You are the president.
:49:37
Good. Then I already know
about this.
:49:40
Let's order lunch.
:49:41
Sir, I think you need
to go on TV
:49:43
and convince the people that
there is no such thing as a UFO.
:49:47
Don't spell in front of me,
damn it.
:49:49
Aliens, sir.
:49:50
There's no such thing
as aliens.
:49:52
- That's not quite true.
- Sir?
:49:54
A year ago, a UFO crash-landed
in New Mexico.
:49:57
- A body may have been recovered.
- "May have been"?