I’m just being honest.
It's been said that clothes
speak the international language.

And l have to admit,
I'm a bit of a fashion whore.

Unfortunately, today I’ve got work,
and l have to tone it down a little bit,

but that's all right. Gucci.
End-of-summer sale.

Very understated.
And l can easily spice it up with...

What? No, no. l know
what you are thinking.

lf you ooze masculinity,
like some of us do,

you have no reason to fear pink.

Now, in the cologne department,
most men overdo it.

Americans practically spray it on
with a crop-duster.

My rule: Nothing above the neck,
though l do like a little splash
on Big Ben.

You never know
where the day may take you.

Almost forgot.
New word for the day.
"Ostentatious: The attempt
to attract attention to oneself."

Who? Me?
Oh, blimey. I’m so rude.
l haven't introduced myself.

- I’m...
- Alfie?

There you go. Alfie.
Are you the little elf that left these
mocha bonbons on my doorstep?

No, no, no. You must have
a secret admirer, Mrs Schnitman.

You are such a doll, Alfie.
But I’m supposed to be on a diet.

Oh, on a diet?
- A diet.
- You?

- Yeah.
- Now, l don't mean to be forward, Lu,

but you should know by now
that a full-figured girl like yourself

- is every guy's secret fantasy.
- Stop it.

So she's a tub of lard.
The ship's already sailed,

so why not make her
feel good about herself, right?

- Oh, Lu?
- Yes, angel?

I’m working the night spot,
and my apartment is a horror show,
so I’m sorry if l keep you up

- with the dust-busting at 2 a.m.
- Oh, don't you worry.

- I’ll give it a quick straighten.
- Oh, no, no, you don't need to that.

l like doing things for you, Alfie.