Chris Rock: Never Scared

OK, fuck it, I'm sure most of you women
been cheated on before.

Some of y'all are with the guy
that cheated on you right now.

And the guys are like,
"Would you shut the fuck up?"

"Do some old shit, 'toss my salad',
one of them."

No. Men are just low, ladies.
Some women are like,
"If I lost weight, he wouldn't cheat.

"If I was more beautiful,
he wouldn't cheat."

Yes, he would.
He would.
There ain't nothing you can do, ladies.

The only thing you can do
to stop your man cheating...

The women are like this...
Only thing you can do...
is be there.
Where? There.
Wherever he's thinking about fucking her.
Just be right there.
And even then he still might lose yo ass.

"Hey, honey, look, a sale!
Let me go fuck this bitch right now."

Oh, man! No.
The beauty don't matter. Kobe cheated
on his wife and Kobe's wife is fine.

Kobe's wife is gorgeous. My God!
That's a fuckin' seƱorita out this motherfucker.
A hot tamale out this motherfucker.
Kobe's wife is fine shit. I would trade my wife
and two aunts for Kobe's, man.

I'll throw in a cousin and my momma
if I have to.

Come on, Momma, we got to close this deal.
Don't let all this celebrity news
fool you right now.

All this stuff going on in the news