Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle

Well, you would have
epigastric tenderness,

diffuse abdominal tenderness...
I'm sorry.
Can you hold on one second?

Kumar's phone.
Kumar speaking.

Hey, what's up? It's me.
What are you doing?

Nothing important. I can talk.
What's going on?

Listen, I can't party tonight, okay?
I gotta stay late at the office.

Dude, fuck that shit.
We had plans.

I know, but I got
a lot of work to do.

When has getting high ever
prevented you from doing your work?

Believe me.
I would love to come home. Okay?

- I got a lot of work to do.
- Thank you. I'll do that.

I got a quarter of the
finest herb in New York City.

I'm not smoking
that shit alone, okay?

So you need to just chill the fuck out
and prepare to get blazed

because in the next couple of hours,
I expect both of us to be
blitzed out of our skulls, got it?

All right, I got it.
I'll talk to you later.
Where was I?

We've got the severe anal discharge,
sometimes violent... a.k.a. Diarrhea.

Mr. Patel, I am more than familiar
with diarrhea.

Do you actually believe
after the way you've just behaved

that I would ever even consider
recommending you for admission?

No. I'm gonna
be honest with you.

The only reason I'm applying
is so my dad
will keep paying for my apartment.

I really don't have a desire
to go to med school.

But you have perfect MCAT scores.
Yeah. Just 'cause you're
hung like a moose

doesn't mean you gotta do porn.
Get out! Bernadette,
show this young man to the door!

And please bring in
some fresh diarrhe... dry towels!

Right in front of the door.
This is America, dude!
Learn how to drive!

Better "ruck" tomorrow!