Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle

- Secure the book!
- Book is secure.

You bring this filth in here?
What is this shit?

Wait, wait. We gotta
do something about this.

We're gonna teach you
how to read now, brother.

If I were you, I'd leave
as soon as possible.

- Whose hand is that?
- Thanks, man.

Jesus Christ.
Thanks for getting me out, man.

No problem. The burgers wouldn't
taste as good if you weren't there.

Hey, look at this.
It's like we went from being
completely poor to being millionaires.

- What was that?
- Probably just a coyote.

Aren't people supposed to
be scared of coyotes?

That's just
'cause they sound scary, man.

In one-on-one combat, either of us
could take down a coyote, no problem.

Now, cheetahs are another story.
- We're gonna die.
- No, now hold on.

Cheetahs are used to
eating gazelles and shit.

They're not known
for eating humans.

That is a corpse.
We're gonna die.

That's not a good sign.

Maybe if we just stay really,
really still, he'll just go away.

Just stay really still.
Don't move, okay?

Just stay right there.
Very good. Good job.

This isn't working.
He's mauling me!
He's mauling me!

Dude, I told you not
to bring the beef jerky.

He likes me.
Hey, Rold, I have an idea.
- You gotta be kidding me, man.
- Uh-uh.

This is either a really smart move
or by far the stupidest thing
that we have ever tried.