I Heart Huckabees
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:30:02
Albert.
Picture a tree in a field.

:30:07
Good. Now put someone
you respect in the tree.

:30:10
- Hey, dickweed.
- [ Albert ] Still Brad Stand.

:30:13
- Add someone else.
- Like who?

:30:15
You know, someone who can understand
things. Someone who can help you.

:30:18
- Who's your guide?
- Well, I use Magritte, a Belgian surrealist.

:30:26
- I got someone.
- Who is it?

:30:29
Mrs. Schirmir. She was my high school
English teacher. She helped me.

:30:32
- All right, good.
- He pushed her out of the tree.

:30:35
Okay, Mrs. Schirmir has a vacuum cleaner,
Albert, that sucks up fear.

:30:42
Now she's going to send you
rays of security and complete acceptance.

:30:50
He chopped her head off!.
:30:54
[ Yelling ]
:30:59
Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
You're doing well.

:31:02
Now, don't give up now.
Didn't she vacuum a lot?

:31:04
But then he vacuumed her.
I had to chop him up with a machete.

:31:07
Okay, Albert. I can let you
in on a couple of secrets.

:31:10
One, your mind is always
occupied on something...

:31:12
so it may as well be something helpful
like Mrs. Schirmir and her vacuum cleaner.

:31:17
Two, there is
no such thing as you and me.

:31:21
So then there's
just nothing?

:31:23
Three, there's
no such thing as nothing.

:31:25
There is no remainder
in the mathematics of infinity.

:31:28
There's only the blanket.
:31:31
I thought I understood the blanket.
Now I'm not sure.

:31:34
Flags and bags.! Huckabees says,
'Happy birthday, Mr. President. '

:31:39
50% off all knapsacks
and pocketbooks.

:31:43
Oh, say, can you see
how good this looks?

:31:47
Let freedom ring.
At Huckabees...

:31:50
the everything store.
:31:53
''Huckabees cornucopia
of stuff we all want.

:31:56
''But what happened to the gazelles?
Were they squashed...

:31:59
under the CD department?''

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