Laws of Attraction

- What?
- Look, over here.

There's some old trailer.
Oh my God!
I think we've
landed on our feet.

See if you can get
some light going.

Oh yeah, then I'll run your bath
and get dinner on.

Hey, listen, we're in this together.
We're a team, okay?

Yeah, for now.
Whoo, it stinks!
There we go.
Well, all in all, I think
we've done quite well.

Hey, listen, I got
the light going, didn't I?

Oh yeah, forgive me. I don't know
what I would have done without you.

Actually, I don't know
how you do it.

You write books,
you appear on TV,

you perform your
stand up routine in court.

Are you taking your clothes off?
Well, just... just...
just the bottoms.

I mean, you know,
they're covered in slime.

Ugh! Why did I do that?
And in your spare time,
you work for the Irish Tourist Board.

- And your point is?
- I was doing fine on my own.

Oh, come on,
let's be honest.

You were lost
until I came along.

Oh, slightly metaphorical.
Anyway, come on.
Lie down. You look tired.
You need to rest.

What, so you can get
to Caisleán click before me?

It's not "click. "
- It's clocha.
- Clocha.

- Caisleán Clocha.
- Kluhh... kuhh.

Clocha... it's not even a word.
What kind of a word is that?

It's an Irish word.
We're in Ireland. Learn to adapt.

I can adapt. I'm very adaptable
as a matter of fact.

- I'm probably more adaptable than you.
- Oh.

- And a word of advice.
- Yes?

Never tell a woman
she looks tired.

Boy, you just summed yourself up
in one sentence.

All-consuming, competitive spirit
meets rampant insecurity.

Now why... why would
someone as accomplished

and as clever as you
be so insecure, hmm?

I'll tell you what,
you spend your teenage years
as the pimply, gangly daughter