:00:33
This is your lunch, OK?
:00:35
Now, I put a dollar in there
so you can buy some milk.
:00:37
You can ask one of the big kids
where to do that.
:00:39
You remember your phone number?
I wrote it down for you, just in case.
:00:41
Put it in your pocket,
I don't want you to lose it.
:00:44
OK? You ready?
:00:48
I think so.
:00:51
It's Cady's big day.
:00:54
I guess it's natural for parents to cry
on their kid's first day of school.
:00:57
But, you know, this usually
happens when the kid is 5.
:01:00
I'm 16 and until today,
I was home-schooled.
:01:03
I know what you're thinking.
"Home-schooled kids are freaks."
:01:07
X-Y-L-O-C-A-R-P.
Xylocarp.
:01:11
Or that we're weirdly religious
or something.
:01:14
And on the third day, God created
the Remington bolt-action rifle
:01:19
so that Man could fight the dinosaurs.
:01:21
And the homosexuals.
:01:23
- Amen.
- Amen.
:01:25
But my family's totally normal.
:01:26
Except for the fact that both my
parents are research zoologists
:01:30
and we've spent the last
12 years in Africa.
:01:32
I had a great life.
:01:34
But then my mom got offered tenure
at Northwestern University.
:01:36
So it was goodbye Africa
and hello high school.
:01:43
I'm OK. Sorry.
:01:45
I'll be careful.