:00:00
"You can get so confused."
:00:02
Viktor?
:00:04
Well, hi.
:00:06
Please.
:00:07
- How are you?
- Good.
:00:09
Man.
:00:11
I am so sorry about what happened
last time, asking you out like that.
:00:16
I'm so used to guys
trying to grab my ass at 30,000 feet
:00:19
that when I meet somebody that doesn't,
I don't know how to react.
:00:23
- Let's just start over.
- Yes, OK.
:00:25
- Are you coming or going?
- I don't know. Both.
:00:28
Tell me about it.
:00:30
Napoleon?
:00:31
Yeah. I read a lot of history books.
They're long and cheap.
:00:37
Like 1200 pages for $9.99.
You can't beat that.
:00:40
- But Napoleon?
- Yeah. He's one of my favorites.
:00:45
- You know what saved Napoleon's life?
- No.
:00:47
- His ego.
- Ego?
:00:48
Yes.
:00:50
After he loses the Battle of Waterloo,
:00:52
Napoleon isolates himself
on the tiny island of Saint Helena.
:00:56
No one knows exactly
what happens next,
:00:58
but the version I like goes like this:
:01:02
He's very depressed
and decides to take his own life.
:01:06
But Napoleon believes himself
to be of such superhuman strength
:01:10
that he takes six times the amount
of poison needed to do the job.
:01:14
His stomach is so full up with poison
that his body rejects it,
:01:18
and he doesn't die.
:01:20
See? Ego. Saved his life.
:01:23
Maybe he need glasses.
:01:25
- Glasses?
- Yes. To read words on bottle.
:01:28
Poison.
:01:32
It's funny you should say that.
:01:34
Rumor has it
that Napoleon was farsighted.
:01:37
- There you go.
- There you go.
:01:38
- There you go.
- And there you go.
:01:41
I think we're rewriting history
right here.
:01:44
Why don't we talk about it over lunch?
:01:47
Oh, my God, I can't believe it.
I just asked you out again.
:01:50
I just did it again.
:01:54
I'm so...
Just stay away from me, Viktor, OK?
:01:56
I'm sick. I don't have the ability
to be alone for five seconds.