Van Helsing

He Iives with his drooIing-ass
oId grandmother.

Sits in front of the TV
aII the time.

You think she's gonna
rat me out?

She don't know her ass
from Iast Tuesday.

You fuck her?
Jesus Christ.
Is everything fucking sex
with you?

With me?
I fuck one person .

I ain't out there
seriaI fornicating ,

trying to fIoat my Iiver,
drinking myseIf siIIy

'cause I can't stand
what a piece of shit I am .

What are you ,
Sigmund Sawed-off Fucking Freud?

Yeah , that's right.
Go ahead .
TaIk about my height.

Make it about something safe
'cause you're
an emotionaI crippIe.

Your souI is dog shit.
Every singIe fucking thing
about you is ugIy.

[ Crunches IoudIy ]
Come on , Lois.
Let's get out of here.

Look who's here, Jimmy.
It's Santa.

That's fucking great.
Let's teII him what you want
for Christmas.

I'm on my fucking
Iunch break, okay?

Are you insane?
Management's gonna hear
about this.

You think that's a threat?
If you think you can make my
Iife any worse, go right ahead .

Be my fucking guest.
Take a shot.

lt's the most wonderful time
of the year

With the kids

And everyone telling you,
''Be of good cheer''

lt's the most wonderful time
of the year

Just Iooking .