:07:00
Couldn't wait to show Coach.
:07:02
Oh, maybe I should start
at the beginning.
:07:04
Back in June, my Mom signed
me up for Little League.
:07:07
It was Alfred's idea, a way
for them to fuck freely,
:07:09
without the expense
of a sitter.
:07:12
Are you excited?
:07:15
Coach Heider?
:07:21
Desire sledgehammered me.
:07:23
He looked like the lifeguards,
cowboys and firemen,
:07:26
I'd seen in the Playgirls that my
mom kept stashed under her bed.
:07:30
Back then, I didn't know
what to do with my feelings.
:07:32
They were like, a gift I had
to open in front of a crowd.
:07:36
-Hello.
-Hello.
:07:38
I'm Ellen McCormick.
And this is my son, Neil.
:07:42
Hello, Neil.
:07:44
Honey, don't you want to
say hello to your new coach?
:07:48
Don't worry, it takes him a
while to warm up to strangers.
:07:55
I quickly became the
team's star player.
:07:59
Which wasn't saying much
considering the other kids...
:08:00
were a bunch of
hopeless spazzes.
:08:03
Our first game,
bottom of the eighth,
:08:05
I whacked a triple
with the bases loaded.
:08:08
The crowd went fuckin' nuts.
:08:11
But I didn't care about that.
:08:13
All that mattered was
it made Coach proud.
:08:17
After that first victory,
the coach called my Mom...
:08:19
to tell her he was taking the team
out to a movie to celebrate.
:08:27
Hey, big guy,
ready to go?
:08:30
-Coach?
-Yeah.
:08:31
Where's everybody else?
:08:33
Well, it looks like it's just going
to be you and me today, bud.
:08:36
-Really?
-Yup.
:08:39
Cool.
:08:42
I picked "Blood Prom," an
R-rated slasher flick...
:08:45
with tons of cool gore
and murders in it.
:08:47
When this one really
annoying blonde chick...
:08:49
got her head chopped off,
I cheered.
:08:52
After the movie, we
we picked up a pizza...
:08:53
and headed back to Coach's.
:08:56
Coach's house was awesome.
:08:58
He had a giant TV, an Atari with
Donkey Kong, Asteroids, Frogger.