The 40 Year Old Virgin
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:07:00
Dude, I will hang your old ass
by your turban.

:07:03
Turban now? Do you see
any fucking turban here?

:07:06
Do I talk like a turban guy?
:07:07
Do I say, "Hey, Jay,
do you want a Slurpee?
You want a Slurpee?"

:07:10
Fuck you, okay?
I was born in Brooklyn.

:07:14
Brooklyn, okay?
:07:15
My accent is a fucking
Brooklyn accent, okay? Okay?

:07:19
All right, man.
Calm down, dude.

:07:20
Look, you still covering
my shift on Friday or what?

:07:22
If I can keep this commission,
with pleasure.

:07:25
Cool, then. All right, pop.
No problem.

:07:31
How about Andy?
No.

:07:33
Come on, man.
We need, what,
five guys...

:07:35
to play a decent
poker game, right?
Yeah.

:07:36
If we cancel this,
I'm gonna have to go...

:07:38
to some stupid-ass
birthday party with Jill...

:07:40
and that shit
ain't happening.

:07:41
No.
(David)
Why not?

:07:43
He's a really nice guy and all
but I'm pretty sure that...

:07:47
he is a serial murderer.
:07:48
Who cares, man?
He's a nice guy.

:07:50
I just wanna get drunk,
fucked up,
and play some cards.

:07:52
That's great.
Look, I don't wanna
end up a lampshade...

:07:55
in some creepy apartment,
that's what I'm saying.

:07:57
I don't really see
any other options.

:07:59
Andy. My man.
:08:02
You got any plans
later on tonight?

:08:04
Why, do we have to unload
the Sony truck?

:08:06
No, the guys
are getting together,
we're playing some poker...

:08:10
thought, you know,
you'd wanna play.

:08:12
With you guys?
:08:15
Yeah, sure.
That would be cool.

:08:17
You know how to play, right?
Yeah, I play online sometimes.

:08:21
We're gonna play
in the store.
Great.

:08:23
Are we allowed
to do that?

:08:25
Absolutely not.
Yeah.

:08:27
Oh.
:08:28
Well, so I'm gonna
go tell Paula.

:08:31
I'm just kidding.
:08:33
I'm kidding.
That sounds great. Cool,
I'll see you guys tonight.

:08:36
Okay.
All right.

:08:37
[Clattering]
Oops.

:08:41
I almost feel guilty.
No, you don't.

:08:57
Going down!
:08:59
Going down!

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