The Perfect Man
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:07:20
No! That's it! I'm not going.
You go with him.

:07:23
Sorry.
:07:26
Check her out.
Hey, you.

:07:28
Yeah, you.
:07:31
How much your kicks
cost you?

:07:32
What?
:07:34
I paid $50 for mine.
:07:36
You?
Free.

:07:38
I pulled them
out of a garbage can
somewhere in Portland.

:07:41
You win.
:07:43
See you, freak.
:07:44
Hey, you're new here?
:07:47
Yeah, how'd you know?
Your skin.

:07:49
My skin looks new?
It looks virgin.

:07:51
No piercing, no tats.
:07:53
See, us Brooklyn girls,
we lose our skin virginity
by fifth grade.

:07:56
In fifth grade,
I was just learning
long division.

:08:01
Attention, all students.
:08:03
Check in with your
homeroom monitor each day...

:08:05
That stinks.
:08:06
You're going to
have to take
your yearbook photo...

:08:08
with all the losers
who missed it
in the fall.

:08:10
I don't do yearbook photos.
:08:11
You have no choice.
:08:13
It's like taxes
and death.

:08:14
Mandatory pain.
If you don't
do it yourself...

:08:17
they'll hunt you down
like an animal
and force you to smile.

:08:19
Not if I'm not here anymore,
they won't.

:08:23
I'm so glad you came.
Thanks.

:08:26
Now, we keep the mixers
in the back.

:08:27
But I got to warn you,
they're all older than God.

:08:30
They don't really
mix very well...

:08:31
they just kind of move
things around.

:08:33
So I hope
your manual mixer's
in real good shape.

:08:35
And watch out
for our no-good oven.

:08:38
It's worse than that one
in Chapel Hill.

:08:39
Off by a good 10 degrees.
:08:41
Well, you know me.
:08:42
I'm off by way more than that.
Yes, you are.

:08:45
And this is Gloria.
Gloria, this is Jean...

:08:48
the one I was
telling you about.
Really nice to meet you.

:08:51
Likewise.
:08:52
Do you know anything
about wilting rose petals?

:08:54
The fondant's too soft.
:08:56
You need to add
more cornstarch.

:08:58
See, I told you she was good.
:08:59
No wonder my rum cakes
always look so drunk.


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