:17:01
The hooker and I.
:17:03
Excuse me. The hooker and I
went back to my place.
:17:07
And from there...
:17:09
God, it was just a blur of intravenous
drug abuse and unprotected sex
:17:13
while taking
the Lord's name in vain.
:17:17
Dean, did you know that when Monty was
a child, everyone thought he was retarded?
:17:22
Dean, doesn't my mom
look old?
:17:24
I mean, like, much older
than she rightfully should?
:17:27
So why aren't you and Serena still together?
I liked her.
:17:32
I don't know.
I guess it got old.
:17:34
We had a relationship
based on orgasms.
:17:36
Oh, how charming.
:17:38
You are being safe,
aren't you?
:17:41
I don't think I could handle
the idea of you reproducing.
:17:44
Come on, Mom.
Of course I'm being safe.
:17:48
I pull out.
:17:50
Yes, well, your father
pulled out too,
:17:52
but we've all seen
the tragic end of that story.
:17:54
You think I wanna have kids?
Absolutely not.
:17:57
That's why I stick to anal sex.
:18:02
If only I had been so lucky.
:18:07
Okay, so that's
the Abraham Lincoln.
:18:08
But remember, you have to shave it
so it looks like his beard.
:18:11
Otherwise, it don't count.
:18:13
Now the last one.
The last one is called "The Goat."
:18:17
Okay, it's a bit trickier.
But if you can pull it off,
:18:20
you are a god among men,
all right?
:18:23
What you do is you take
your nuts and your dick, right?
:18:28
And you tuck it underneath.
:18:30
Pull your pants down,
show it, all right?
:18:34
With it sticking out the backside.
You got that?
:18:36
Okay, well, that just about covers
all the different variations that we have.
:18:40
But you know, we're always
looking for new positions.
:18:42
So next time you got a little down time,
you find yourself a little bored,
:18:45
play with your nuts,
you know what I'm saying?
:18:47
See what you come up with, okay?
It's all good.
:18:49
All right. I really only have one thing
I wanna talk about today,
:18:53
and that's teamwork.
:18:57
When the dinner rush hits
and things start to get hectic,
:18:59
you all have a tendency to start yelling
and screaming at one another.