:09:00
... in this great nation of ours.
:09:06
Since you're reading this,
you'd be interested to know...
:09:09
... that my favorite catches
were the intellectuals.
:09:11
They'd be the ones in the straight
black dresses, severe black hair.
:09:16
Your basic neurotic,
eyeglasses, cool jazz, liberal...
:09:20
..."I'll fuck any black guy as
part of my personal apology...
:09:23
... for racism in America" type.
:09:27
Anyhow, on this particular night,
we're in a club in New Jersey...
:09:30
... it's the '50s, and I'm mingling
with the crowd.
:09:34
Now, when I say "mingling,"
what I mean is...
:09:36
... I was scouting
for who I would sleep with.
:09:38
Didn't matter if the girls
came with dates.
:09:41
That was Reuben's job.
Reuben is my valet.
:09:44
I never figured out how he
helped them get rid of their dates...
:09:47
... but they were always gone
by the second show.
:09:50
Reuben could clean up
any situation.
:09:52
Excuse me, miss.
May I say that I think...
:09:54
...you have the most beautiful eyes
I have ever seen.
:09:58
Notice I say, "I think you've got the
most beautiful eyes I've ever seen."
:10:01
I haven't seen them yet.
I've been staring at your cans.
:10:04
Now, Lanny.
:10:06
- I can't believe he just said that.
- That is completely unacceptable.
:10:10
Madam, I apologize.
I apologize, ladies and gentlemen...
:10:12
...for my friend. You cannot
speak that way to a stranger.
:10:15
Look, her husband's not offended.
:10:18
- He's not?
- No, her husband's not offended.
:10:20
Her husband's not here.
This lucky guy is her boyfriend.
:10:23
And even he's not offended,
and do you know why?
:10:25
Well, I can certainly hazard a guess.
:10:27
What the hell is that? For chrissake,
Vince, this is America.
:10:30
We don't say, "hazard a guess."
We say "yes" or we say "no."
:10:34
Well, I say "no" to you, Morris.
:10:36
Excuse me?
Could you repeat that?
:10:38
I don't think
the entire audience heard you.
:10:40
Go back to where
you came from, bastard!
:10:43
I get hecklers all the time,
but this schmuck came off personal.
:10:46
Where did he think I came from?
:10:47
Bastard! Bastard!
He called me a bastard.
:10:50
Now, it doesn't show
from the front, Lanny.
:10:52
Now, please, would you kindly not
mount me? It's very disagreeable.
:10:55
Vince plunges straight into
quoting lines I wrote...
:10:58
... from a song
from our first motion picture.