:01:01
And so, in retiring as president
of this college,
:01:05
:01:06
it is indeed a painful task
to bid you all goodbye.
:01:09
:01:10
And now, with the utmost pleasure,
:01:12
:01:13
may I present the man who is to guide
the destiny of this great institution:
:01:17
:01:18
Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff!
:01:22
:01:28
Professor, it is an honor
to welcome you to Huxley College.
:01:32
:01:32
Never mind that, hold this coat.
:01:35
:01:38
By the way, there's no smoking.
:01:41
:01:41
That's what you said.
:01:43
:01:46
It would please the faculty
if you would throw your cigar away.
:01:49
:01:49
The faculty can keep their seats.
There'll be no diving for this cigar.
:01:54
:01:55
Members of the faculty,
faculty members,
:01:57
:01:58
students of Huxley
and Huxley students!
:01:59
:02:00
I guess that covers everything.
:02:02
:02:02
I thought my razor was dull
until I heard his speech.
:02:04
:02:05
Which reminds me of a story so dirty
I'm ashamed to think of it myself.
:02:09
:02:09
As I look at your faces, I understand
why this college is flat on its back.
:02:14
:02:14
At my last college, it was slightly
different. I was flat on my back.
:02:18
:02:19
Things went from bad to worse,
but we all pulled together,
:02:21
:02:21
and soon I was flat on my back again.
:02:24
:02:24
Any questions? Any answers?
:02:26
:02:26
Any rags? Any bones?
Any bottles today? And rags...
:02:29
:02:30
Let's have some action around here.
Who'll say 76? Who'll say 1776?
:02:34
:02:34
That's the spirit! 1776!
:02:36
:02:37
You'd like to know why I'm here.
:02:39
:02:39
I came here to get my son out.
:02:41
:02:41
I remember the day he left:
A mere boy and a beardless youth.
:02:44
:02:45
I kissed them both goodbye.
By the way, where is my son?
:02:49
:02:50
Young lady, would you get up
so I can see the son rise?
:02:53
:02:55
So, doing your homework in school, eh?
- Hello, old-timer!