Christmas in July
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:05:04
Yes? Oh, we are, are we?
:05:08
Well, that's just lovely.
:05:12
We're going off the air, gentlemen,
so just take your time.

:05:15
You can stay here till next Wednesday.
:05:17
Or you can still here
till Hoboken freezes over.

:05:20
We have failed in our promise to the public.
:05:23
We have muffed the most dramatic
advertising moment in commerce,

:05:27
and you've made a fathead out of me.
:05:29
The next nitwit who talks to me
about a contest

:05:33
had better duck before I swing on him.
:05:39
In conclusion, gentlemen,
especially you, Mr Bildocker,

:05:43
let me say that I have seen
far better heads on... umbrellas!

:05:49
And so,
another broadcast slips into posterity,

:05:53
as we bring to a close
the 449th Maxford House programme.

:05:57
I wish I could have given you
the news you wanted to hear.

:06:00
But I will conclude with
what the prisoner said

:06:03
when the hangman couldn't find the rope.
:06:05
"No noose is good noose." Ha, ha.
:06:09
This is Don Hartman,
wishing you all goodnight.

:06:16
They build you up to a big finish
and leave you hanging on a meat hook.

:06:20
You heard what he said.
No news is good news.

:06:22
- He said, "No noose is good noose."
- So?

:06:25
Oh, it doesn't matter.
I wish they'd get it over with.

:06:28
You start thinking about that $25,000,
or even the $5,000...

:06:32
- Or anything.
- You said it.

:06:34
When you've got it right in your mitts,
they leave you with your tongue hanging out.

:06:38
There ought to be a law against it.
:06:40
- Did you really think you'd win it?
- I haven't lost it yet.

:06:44
- How many have you lost?
- I don't know.

:06:46
But every time I've lost a contest,
I've doubled my chances on the next one.

:06:50
It's the law of averages. Like when I lost the
How Many Peanuts In The Window contest.

:06:54
- That doubled my chances...
- They put boxes under the peanuts.

:06:57
They didn't ask how many boxes
under the peanuts. They said...


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