:06:00
But I will conclude with
what the prisoner said
:06:03
when the hangman couldn't find the rope.
:06:05
"No noose is good noose." Ha, ha.
:06:09
This is Don Hartman,
wishing you all goodnight.
:06:16
They build you up to a big finish
and leave you hanging on a meat hook.
:06:20
You heard what he said.
No news is good news.
:06:22
- He said, "No noose is good noose."
- So?
:06:25
Oh, it doesn't matter.
I wish they'd get it over with.
:06:28
You start thinking about that $25,000,
or even the $5,000...
:06:32
- Or anything.
- You said it.
:06:34
When you've got it right in your mitts,
they leave you with your tongue hanging out.
:06:38
There ought to be a law against it.
:06:40
- Did you really think you'd win it?
- I haven't lost it yet.
:06:44
- How many have you lost?
- I don't know.
:06:46
But every time I've lost a contest,
I've doubled my chances on the next one.
:06:50
It's the law of averages. Like when I lost the
How Many Peanuts In The Window contest.
:06:54
- That doubled my chances...
- They put boxes under the peanuts.
:06:57
They didn't ask how many boxes
under the peanuts. They said...
:07:00
- "How many peanuts are in the window?"
- So I lost.
:07:03
That doubled my chances on the
You Fill In The Missing Words contest.
:07:06
- But you lost that one too.
- Fine.
:07:08
- I was eight to one in the limerick contest.
- But you didn't win it, Jimmy!
:07:12
That's what makes it a cinch this time.
:07:14
Can't you see it over there in lights?
:07:16
The guy swallows his coffee, and it says,
:07:18
"If you don't sleep at night,
it isn't the coffee, it's the bunk."
:07:22
- That's some slogan.
- Mm-hm.
:07:25
Do you get the point?
Do you understand what it means?
:07:27
- Yes...
- What do you mean, yes?
:07:29
It's clear as crystal.
"It isn't the coffee, it's the bunk."
:07:34
If you don't sleep at night, it isn't the coffee
that keeps you awake, it's the bunk.
:07:39
- The bunk when you don't sleep!
- I know! I've heard it a thousand times!
:07:43
- I just don't understand it.
- Maybe you don't try to.
:07:45
- Maybe I don't.
- A kid of two could understand that.
:07:49
This Viennese doctor says
that whole idea's just a superstition,
:07:53
that instead of keeping you awake,
coffee makes you sleep.
:07:56
- It's simple. Coffee makes you sleep.
- It doesn't make me sleep.