Christmas in July
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:07:00
- "How many peanuts are in the window?"
- So I lost.

:07:03
That doubled my chances on the
You Fill In The Missing Words contest.

:07:06
- But you lost that one too.
- Fine.

:07:08
- I was eight to one in the limerick contest.
- But you didn't win it, Jimmy!

:07:12
That's what makes it a cinch this time.
:07:14
Can't you see it over there in lights?
:07:16
The guy swallows his coffee, and it says,
:07:18
"If you don't sleep at night,
it isn't the coffee, it's the bunk."

:07:22
- That's some slogan.
- Mm-hm.

:07:25
Do you get the point?
Do you understand what it means?

:07:27
- Yes...
- What do you mean, yes?

:07:29
It's clear as crystal.
"It isn't the coffee, it's the bunk."

:07:34
If you don't sleep at night, it isn't the coffee
that keeps you awake, it's the bunk.

:07:39
- The bunk when you don't sleep!
- I know! I've heard it a thousand times!

:07:43
- I just don't understand it.
- Maybe you don't try to.

:07:45
- Maybe I don't.
- A kid of two could understand that.

:07:49
This Viennese doctor says
that whole idea's just a superstition,

:07:53
that instead of keeping you awake,
coffee makes you sleep.

:07:56
- It's simple. Coffee makes you sleep.
- It doesn't make me sleep.

:08:00
- He's a Viennese doctor!
- Coffee keeps you awake!

:08:03
Why are you so pig-headed about it?
I'm not trying to contradict you...

:08:07
It's the new scientific theory.
It's the basis of my slogan.

:08:10
People who think coffee keeps them awake
are nervous wrecks anyway

:08:14
so why blame it on the coffee?
:08:16
So I say, "If you don't sleep at night,
it isn't the coffee, it's the bunk."

:08:20
- Do you get it?
- I guess so.

:08:22
- You guess so. What does it mean?
- It's the bunk.

:08:27
- Yes, but do you get the play on words?
- You don't need a play on words.

:08:30
Any time anybody says
coffee makes you sleep, it's bunk.

:08:34
Don't you understand? It's funny.
People are going to laugh.

:08:38
It means it isn't the coffee
that keeps you awake, it's the bed.

:08:41
- With me it's the coffee.
- Oh...

:08:44
I want you to win it.
I'm just as anxious as you are.

:08:47
And when you lose this one, think how much
better your chances will be on the next.

:08:51
Fine chance I've got of winning anything
if everybody says coffee keeps you awake.

:08:56
Let's drink a gallon of coffee
and see who sleeps the longest.

:08:59
- Oh, shut up.
- (Woman) Jimmy!


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