Go West

Panello, this Indian's no Indian.
If he's no Indian,
why is he wearing a chicken for a hat?

He's half-lndian and half-ostrich.
Stop trying to pass yourself off
as a red man.

Why, you can't even speak the language.
Let me hear you recite Hiawatha
by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

That's not it.
If it is, they've shortened it
since I went to school.

And you call yourself a red man.
And you call yourself a white man.
Let's go.

What did he say?
He said first they'll give us a fair trial,
then they'll kill us.

White man talk too much.
Make chief heap mad.

White man red man's friend.
White man wanna make friends
with red brother.

And sister, too.
Are you insinuating that the white man
is not the Indian's friend?

Who swindled you
out of Manhattan Island for $24?

White man.
Who stood your wooden statue
in front of a cigar store?

Who put your head on a nickel
and then took the nickel away?

Slot machine.
Members of the tribe...
I rest my case.
How would you like a little necklace
that belonged to the Czarina of Russia?

No like. Me want Cadillac sedan.
She's been off the reservation.
Wait a minute.
I don't want a scalp treatment.

Look, just to prove we're your friends,
we give you this totem pole.