The Bank Dick
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:32:12
I got you set for life.
:32:14
I don't hang around
that Black Pussy Cafe for nothing.

:32:17
I met a poor fella
who's in trouble.

:32:19
Something the matter
with his grandmother's paisley shawl.

:32:22
He has 5,000 shares
in the Beefsteak Mine,

:32:25
and you can buy them
for a handful of hay.

:32:28
Hay? And they're worth...
:32:30
Ten cents a share.
:32:32
Telephone sold
for five cents a share.

:32:35
How would you like something better
for ten cents a share?

:32:38
If five gets you ten,
ten'll get you 20.

:32:42
Beautiful home in the country.
Upstairs and down.

:32:46
Beer flowing through the estate
over your grandmother's paisley shawl.

:32:51
- Beer?
- Beer!

:32:54
Fishing in the stream...
:32:57
that runs under the arboreal dell.
:33:00
A man comes up from the bar.
:33:03
Dumps $3,500 in your lap...
:33:07
for every nickel invested.
:33:09
Says to you, "Sign here
on the dotted line. "

:33:14
And then disappears
in the waving fields of alfalfa.

:33:18
Gosh. Do you think
he was tellin' the truth?

:33:22
You don't think a man
would resort to taradiddle, do you?

:33:25
Why, he sobbed
like a child...

:33:28
at the very thought
of disposing of these shares.

:33:31
How does a bank
make its money?

:33:33
- By investing.
- That's the point.

:33:35
You don't wanna work all your life.
:33:37
Take a chance!
Take it while you're young.

:33:41
My uncle,
a balloon ascensionist,

:33:44
Effingham Hoffnagle,
took a chance.

:33:47
He was three miles and a half
up in the air.

:33:50
He jumped out of the basket
of the balloon,

:33:53
and took a chance
of lighting on a load of hay.

:33:56
Golly!
Did he make it?


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