The Bank Dick
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:33:00
A man comes up from the bar.
:33:03
Dumps $3,500 in your lap...
:33:07
for every nickel invested.
:33:09
Says to you, "Sign here
on the dotted line. "

:33:14
And then disappears
in the waving fields of alfalfa.

:33:18
Gosh. Do you think
he was tellin' the truth?

:33:22
You don't think a man
would resort to taradiddle, do you?

:33:25
Why, he sobbed
like a child...

:33:28
at the very thought
of disposing of these shares.

:33:31
How does a bank
make its money?

:33:33
- By investing.
- That's the point.

:33:35
You don't wanna work all your life.
:33:37
Take a chance!
Take it while you're young.

:33:41
My uncle,
a balloon ascensionist,

:33:44
Effingham Hoffnagle,
took a chance.

:33:47
He was three miles and a half
up in the air.

:33:50
He jumped out of the basket
of the balloon,

:33:53
and took a chance
of lighting on a load of hay.

:33:56
Golly!
Did he make it?

:34:00
- Uh... no, he didn't.
- Oh.

:34:05
Had he been a younger man,
he probably would've made it.

:34:09
That's the point!
Don't wait too long in life.

:34:17
I've never done anything
like this.

:34:20
And another thing,
I haven't got the money.

:34:24
'Course my bonus comes due
in four days. That's $500.

:34:28
I could buy 'em then,
and with all that money,

:34:30
I really might be worthy
of your daughter's hand.

:34:33
Women really appreciate
the fine things in life.

:34:36
- You don't wanna die and leave your wife and children paupers, do you?
- No.

:34:41
Borrow the $500 from the bank.
:34:44
- You intend to pay it back when your bonus comes due, don't ya?
- Oh, sure.

:34:48
Surely! Don't be a luddy-duddy.
Don't be a mooncalf.

:34:52
- Don't be a jabbernowl. You're not those, are you?
- No.

:34:56
I guess there's no way you could
confuse it with stealing, is there?


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