1:25:02
Cakes of soap in a field of paper towels?
1:25:04
A porcupine, rampant on
a field of fleur-de-lys.
1:25:07
You may also have a photograph
of the Schattenburg Castle.
1:25:10
Unfortunately destroyed during the war.
1:25:13
- American Air Force?
- No, Turkish cavalry. 1683.
1:25:17
You can't just order me around.
Sit there, do this, eat that.
1:25:20
Hold still. I can't get your cuff link in.
1:25:22
- Is this the lucky young man?
- That's him.
1:25:25
- Meet your father.
- My father?
1:25:27
My dear boy. I'm sure you will be
a credit to the family.
1:25:30
It could use a little credit.
1:25:32
- What is this?
- You're being adopted.
1:25:34
Adopted? Just like that,
without even asking me?
1:25:37
This is not only devious, it's unilateral.
1:25:40
- My eye.
- This is your daughter-in-law.
1:25:43
- Gnädige Frau.
- Scarlett!
1:25:45
- I've got something in my eye.
- It's a monocle. Looks cute on you.
1:25:49
A monocle. How sneaky can you get?
1:25:52
Sign the papers
and give this to the cashier.
1:25:54
Thank you.
1:25:56
- What do you think you're doing?
- It's on the house.
1:25:59
Goodbye, my son.
1:26:02
I want you kids to memorise
your new name.
1:26:05
You are the Count and Countess
von Droste-Schattenburg.
1:26:08
- Count?
- So everyone has to curtsy to me.
1:26:11
- Except maybe Grace Kelly.
- Nobody will curtsy to you.
1:26:14
I refuse to join the aristocracy.
They're all leeches, bleeding the masses.
1:26:19
Not the von Droste-Schattenburgs.
They bleed themselves.
1:26:22
Get him dressed. And now he has a name,
there are some things I want him to sign.
1:26:26
- What things?
- I'm turning over my limousine to you.
1:26:29
- All I want is my motorcycle back.
- Can't have a countess in a sidecar.
1:26:33
- Where would we put the baby?
- And have him fill out these.
1:26:36
Golf club, Diners Club,
Book-of-the-Month Club...
1:26:39
- I will sign nothing, I will join nothing.
- But it's the American way of life.
1:26:43
Unemployment, discrimination,
gangsterism, juvenile delinquency...
1:26:49
But under our new 20-year plan
we will catch up with you.
1:26:52
Lots of luck.
1:26:54
Ingeborg, get the manager of the bottling
plant up here and find me a sign painter.