One, Two, Three
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1:24:00
MacNamara
von Omaha, Nebraska.

1:24:03
Would you mind telling me
why I was summoned here?

1:24:06
Because every minute
I am away from my post...

1:24:07
it costs me two marks in tips.
1:24:09
OK. I'll lay it on the line.
1:24:10
How would you like
to become a father?

1:24:12
At my age?
1:24:13
There's a young man
I'd like you to adopt.

1:24:15
And the tip is
two thousand marks.

1:24:17
- Good day, sir.
- Hold on there, Count.

1:24:19
Just because I am reduced...
1:24:21
to earning
my living in a washroom...

1:24:23
does not mean that
I'm willing to peddle...

1:24:24
the honor and dignity
of my family name.

1:24:27
The von Droste-Schattenburgs
date back to the Second Crusade.

1:24:30
We have one of the oldest
bloodlines in Europe...

1:24:32
and one of the most inbred.
1:24:34
I am a direct descendant
of Philip the Bleeder.

1:24:36
So your proposition
is not only preposterous...

1:24:39
it is highly insulting.
1:24:41
- Make it ten thousand marks.
- I'll give you three thousand.

1:24:43
I just told you I come from
a long line of bleeders...

1:24:46
so don't cut the price.
1:24:47
Four thousand.
1:24:48
I will have you know...
1:24:49
that I am distantly related
to ex-King Farouk of Egypt.

1:24:52
Thirty-five hundred.
1:24:53
What happened to four thousand?
1:24:54
It's a deal.
1:24:56
Ingeborg, send Piffl in here.
1:24:57
For an additional 500 marks,
I will include the family crest.

1:25:01
What is it, two cakes of soap
on a field of paper towels?

1:25:04
A porcupine rampant
on a field of fleur-de-lis.

1:25:07
You may also have a photograph
of the Schattenburg Castle...

1:25:10
unfortunately destroyed
during the war.

1:25:12
American Air Force?
1:25:13
No. Turkish cavalry. 1683.
1:25:17
You can't just order me around...
1:25:18
"Come here, sit there,
do this, eat that!"

1:25:20
Darling, hold still.
I can't get your cuff link in.

1:25:22
Is this the lucky young man?
1:25:24
That's him.
Meet your father.

1:25:26
- My father?
- Ah, my dear boy.

1:25:28
I'm sure you will be
a credit to the family.

1:25:30
It could use a little credit.
1:25:32
- What is all this?
- You're being adopted.

1:25:34
Adopted? Just like that,
without even asking me?

1:25:37
This is not only devious,
it's unilateral.

1:25:40
My eye. What's the matter
with my eye?

1:25:41
- This is your daughter-in-law.
- Gnädige Frau.

1:25:44
Scarlett, I've got
something in my eye!

1:25:46
It's a monocle.
Looks cute on you.

1:25:49
A monocle?
How sneaky can you get?

1:25:51
Go in there
and sign the papers...

1:25:52
and give this to the cashier
on the way out.

1:25:54
Thank you.
1:25:55
What do you think you're doing?
1:25:57
It's on the house, no charge.
1:25:59
Good-bye, my son.

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