Pocketful of Miracles

Why don't you lay down and act like one?
Darcey, Joy Boy happens to be my friend,
and all my friends are nine feet tall
and make very bad doormats.

You bootleggers, you were nine feet tall.
All big fish in a little pond, but all of
a sudden all the little ponds are dryin' up.

That's where the king comes in.
I'm makin' me a national syndicate.

I'm gonna push some of you
gaspin' sharks back in the water.

But it's gonna be my water.
It'll cover the whole country.

- Deep water.
- Deep, huh?

How deep? Dames? Dope?
That's a little over my head.

Come on. That's bush league.
We're gonna operate
from presidential suites.

We're gonna elect judges,
contribute to charities, finance operas.

We're gonna be in
the big, profitable business

of catering for all human weaknesses.
- What would be my cut?
- Your cut? The New York territory?

Right down the middle.
If you're the right guy.

He's the only guy.
There's one more little detail. We request
the franchise holders to put up $50,000.

In small bills.
As a token of their good faith.
- Who's driving?
- Herman.

- Herman?
- Yeah.

Take Mr Darcey anywhere he wants to go
while he's in town. He's my guest.

- Drop me off at the nearest goods stop.
- OK, boss.

Wait a minute. You're not interested?
No, not right now.
Because, you see, this is one fish
that isn't jumping into anybody's pond

unless I'm paid $100,000 in cash
as a token of your good faith.

You want the syndicate to pay you?
I'm the lucky one, remember?
All right, boys, let's go. We got
some ponds that need watering real bad.

Oh, if you get an itch for any of those
human weaknesses yourself, just holler.